Sunday, November 14, 2010

The Emancipation Proclamation and a Simple Slice of Bread

Last time we talked about time. And how time is now on your side.
Did you get it? Do you believe it? I guarantee you–this is REAL.
Don't believe me?

Let me refresh your memory:
You're gonna start the 6 week plan in 6 days or 6 hours or whatever (1 year from now??) and you're gonna wear that bikini. And it never happens. Why? Because that kind of thinking is just wrong, wrong, wrong! Even if you actually do start your plan on schedule, you only stay on it a week and in that week you can't even take off all the extra pounds you gained from the Mardi Gras-style holiday you had before you went on the diet!!!

Let me buttress (!) my point with some famous quotes from history:

A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. –Lao-tzu

Grasshopper, there is only today. –Master Po (loosely quoted)

There is no try, there is only do. –Yoda (even more loosely quoted)

Stop the Insanity! –Susan Powter (this seemed like a good time to throw that one in)

Have I made my point? Ok, try this: If you are not sure how to proceed, reach deep within yourself and think about normalcy. What is it like not to be on a diet, and at the same time, not stuffing yourself?

Without being too ZEN about this,

Consider the Slice of Bread

Bread has always been the nemesis of dieters. To eat of it or not, that is the proverbial question.
Let's break it down into three simple choices that illuminate your mental state and dictate whether or not you will ever be thin. Let this be your litmus test:

No bread This is a fad diet, and one you will never stick to. When you become an enlightened master you may make the choice to give up all processed foods, but right now you are just not there. You need to master moderation first and this is not the way to do it.

The 1-slice sandwich This is a diet. How long are you going to try to make a sandwich with one slice of bread? (What's the sound of one hand clapping? If a dieter falls in the forest, does anyone hear him/her?)

2 slices of bread Ahhh. Now you're on to something. This is normal: A sandwich on two slices of bread, of moderate size. Eat, enjoy, and leave a few bites of bread on the plate for Miss Manners.

3 or 4 slices of bread at one sitting Out of Control. This can only be considered piggish.

You're gonna get this. Hang in there if you don't. It takes time to undo all the "diet" nonsense that has been drummed into your head. Think about it: Were people designed to always be on a "diet?" Of course not. If you want to be normal weight, you have to eat like a normal person. (You get to eat like a normal person!) Every day. For the rest of your life.

Abraham Lincoln wanted people to be free. And I couldn't agree more.
People should be free from tyranny of all kinds–especially diets!
So, how do you get free? Don't go on diets anymore.

Freedom feels good.

The Problem of Time

Time marches on. And that's a good thing. But not the way you think.

When you are planning your next diet, you always think about a time in the future. You find a diet that says "lose 20 pounds in 6 weeks" and you get all fired up. You mark the date on your calendar: 6 weeks from, say, this Monday (that's a good day to start a diet) and you write down your new, lighter weight on the calendar with glee.

Sound familiar?

The problem with this method is, it never works! Why? Because today and every day until Monday you are eating like a pig. You are trying to stuff as much as you can in before the big "deadline." And what you are missing is, today is all you have. I'll repeat that:


Be fat today and you are fat forever.
Be thin today and you will be thin forever.

To loosely quote Forrest Gump: Thin is as thin does.
Because forever is just a bunch of todays all strung together.
What you have just done with your "diet" is sully your soul, stretch out your stomach and entrench yourself ever deeper into "fatness." You're all bloated and you don't feel good about yourself. You feel like a failure. And that is a big fat mistake because you'll never lose weight until you feel good about yourself!

So. Take a deep breath. Stop planning to be thin at some time in the future, and then in the present doing all sorts of things to sabotage your dream. Just for today, decide what you can do to be healthy; to eat something delicious that is good for you, to feel good about yourself. Live today like it is the only day you have to be a thin person.

Because it is.