Sunday, November 14, 2010

The Emancipation Proclamation and a Simple Slice of Bread

Last time we talked about time. And how time is now on your side.
Did you get it? Do you believe it? I guarantee you–this is REAL.
Don't believe me?

Let me refresh your memory:
You're gonna start the 6 week plan in 6 days or 6 hours or whatever (1 year from now??) and you're gonna wear that bikini. And it never happens. Why? Because that kind of thinking is just wrong, wrong, wrong! Even if you actually do start your plan on schedule, you only stay on it a week and in that week you can't even take off all the extra pounds you gained from the Mardi Gras-style holiday you had before you went on the diet!!!

Let me buttress (!) my point with some famous quotes from history:

A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. –Lao-tzu

Grasshopper, there is only today. –Master Po (loosely quoted)

There is no try, there is only do. –Yoda (even more loosely quoted)

Stop the Insanity! –Susan Powter (this seemed like a good time to throw that one in)

Have I made my point? Ok, try this: If you are not sure how to proceed, reach deep within yourself and think about normalcy. What is it like not to be on a diet, and at the same time, not stuffing yourself?

Without being too ZEN about this,

Consider the Slice of Bread

Bread has always been the nemesis of dieters. To eat of it or not, that is the proverbial question.
Let's break it down into three simple choices that illuminate your mental state and dictate whether or not you will ever be thin. Let this be your litmus test:

No bread This is a fad diet, and one you will never stick to. When you become an enlightened master you may make the choice to give up all processed foods, but right now you are just not there. You need to master moderation first and this is not the way to do it.

The 1-slice sandwich This is a diet. How long are you going to try to make a sandwich with one slice of bread? (What's the sound of one hand clapping? If a dieter falls in the forest, does anyone hear him/her?)

2 slices of bread Ahhh. Now you're on to something. This is normal: A sandwich on two slices of bread, of moderate size. Eat, enjoy, and leave a few bites of bread on the plate for Miss Manners.

3 or 4 slices of bread at one sitting Out of Control. This can only be considered piggish.

You're gonna get this. Hang in there if you don't. It takes time to undo all the "diet" nonsense that has been drummed into your head. Think about it: Were people designed to always be on a "diet?" Of course not. If you want to be normal weight, you have to eat like a normal person. (You get to eat like a normal person!) Every day. For the rest of your life.

Abraham Lincoln wanted people to be free. And I couldn't agree more.
People should be free from tyranny of all kinds–especially diets!
So, how do you get free? Don't go on diets anymore.

Freedom feels good.

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